I don’t often post song lyrics, but this is one of those songs that hits me every time I hear it. Usually songs remind me of other people, or places/situations, or even books/movies…but this one feels personal.
This is a song called ‘Alice’ by Mononoke…
The line that initially go me was “This was a garden grown where no care was shown – you call that love?” Because it just made me think of my parents, and the neglect I dealt with in between bouts of abuse. I was shown no care, but I grew anyway. Yet, because I managed to grow, they somehow thought they were owed my love, or that it was proof that they were loving…and it’s not.
Then I gave it a closer listen, and there were more lines… “Now that you’ve grown, and the child is gone, why do you still hold on?” And to me, this felt like…why did I cling for so long to the idea that I could actually have a relationship with those people?
Wanting to escape without being seen…feeling trapped…I relate.
And my parents…definitely a pack of cards without the hearts.
I’m now obsessed with this song.